Fake Plastic Lemons

The first rule of Fight Club is: don't talk about Fight Club.

The first rule of Chinese Whispers Club is: don't talk about Tiny Whiskers Grub.

The first rule of Pancake club is: throw your first one away and don't talk about it.

I don't know why I am harping on randomly about rules and the like. I was going to write a post about pancakes but it seems like half the world and their dog is giving their advice on pancakes today. In fact, it suddenly feels quite incongruous and facile to give tips and advice on how to mix eggs, milk and flour. It's not rocket science.

And plus someone else lifted the curtain on the heart of the matter two years ago, with this simple post and now I really am at a loss at what to say about pancakes.

Seriously, the wind has truly been taken out of my sails.

Bastard.

However, I would like to throw a yellow, plastic, oval-shaped grenade into the mix.

Given that the food retail industry is currently disintegrating before our very eyes with wandering accusations of fraud, criminal activity and skulduggery, perhaps it would be fitting for us to all go out and buy some Jif for our pancakes tonight. We all seem to be going to hell in a handcart so a short, sharp squeeze of concentrated citrus topped up with E223 is hardly going to hurt now is it.

I am talking Jif lemon juice by the way, not the cleaning stuff.