A Sneak Preview

So here it folks, the moment you've been waiting for. Here is a sneak peak at that dishwasher advert I've been banging on about. This is what will hit television screens throughout the nation, this is the final cut, this is the Finish(ed) product. Badoom-dish......sorry I mean tish.

The very first airing, so I have been told, will be on tomorrow. Monday morning, on ITV, at 8:45am, during Lorraine. Aye that's right, Lorraine Kelly! Both Nisha's and my advert will be on rotation so there is an element of pot luck to catch it but after a week of beaming into living rooms across the land, at various times and on various channels, I fully expect to be recognised, like practically everywhere.

Whenever I am out and about, walking down the street, I expect high fives, slaps on back and kisses on the cheek. At the bus stop, in the supermarket and down the park. Knowing smiles, suggestive winks and pistol fingers, shot straight from the hip. Drinks bought in bars, no waiting for tables, no queues, premier seats, bespoke suits and handmade leather shoes. First class tickets, luxurious suites, private jets. Parades, carnivals, festivals, ticker tape, festooning the streets. Brass band and thumping drum, a huge branded float with yours truly sat atop a massive red polystyrene Power ball, wearing a ridiculous lime green and yellow top hat. Throwing fistfuls of dishwasher tablets to the masses. To adoring, cheering crowds.

If this doesn't happen, then all has been in vain.